How I Found My Way: From Rock Bottom to Thriving, Loving Myself, and Embracing the Unknown

Life can take unexpected turns, and my journey has been quite the roller coaster. Just a few years ago, I hit rock bottom—heartbroken, betrayed, overweight, unhealthy, and gripped by anxiety. I felt lost in a thick fog, unable to see a way forward. But through sheer determination and a deep desire for change, I found my way out of the darkness. Today, I not only thrive but have truly fallen in love with myself. As a coach, my mission is now to help others do the same.

Steps to Rebuilding My Relationship with Myself

I want to share the key steps that helped me rebuild my relationship with myself, rediscover my true identity, and embrace a life filled with love and joy.

1. Acknowledging My Feelings

I gave myself permission to recognize and accept my emotions, understanding that they were valid and important. Instead of pushing them aside, I learned to sit with them, process them, and find ways to move forward.

2. Setting Physical Goals

To regain control over my body and mind, I committed to the Couch to 5K program and signed up for a 10K charity run. These goals kept me motivated, active, and gave me a sense of achievement.

3. Connecting with My Community

Opening up on social media and the people around me about my struggles allowed me to connect with others facing similar challenges. This sense of belonging reminded me that I was never truly alone. It reminded me that being vunerable allows others to do the same.

4. Practicing Self-Care

I integrated daily self-care routines that nourished my mind, body, and soul. Meditation, journaling, prayer, and self-love practices became non-negotiable parts of my day.

5. Reflecting on My Journey

Regular self-reflection helped me track my progress and celebrate every milestone, no matter how small. This built momentum and reinforced my growth.

6. Embracing Change

Rather than fearing change, I learned to see it as a natural part of life. With every change came growth, and I leaned into the evolution of becoming my best self.

7. Spreading Kindness

Giving back brought me a deeper sense of fulfillment. Supporting a charity in Uganda, where my son and I volunteered, allowed me to experience the power of kindness and purpose firsthand.

Recognising the Low Point

Understanding our lowest moments is crucial for personal growth. Here’s what I learned about navigating despair:

• Identifying Triggers: Recognizing the situations that led to emotional distress.

• Emotional Awareness: Accepting my emotions without judgment.

• Seeking Support: Reaching out to loved ones and professionals.

• Setting Goals: Taking small, achievable steps to regain control.

• Practicing Self-Care: Prioritizing mental and physical well-being.

Hitting rock bottom felt like being trapped in a dark tunnel with no exit. I was stuck in toxic cycles, plagued by self-doubt, and physically unwell. At my lowest, I weighed 230 pounds, and my self-esteem was shattered. But in that despair, I realised I had to confront my pain and, ultimately, myself.

Embracing Healthy Habits

With self-love as my foundation, I turned my focus to physical health. Instead of restrictive diets, I focused on fueling my body with nutritious food and staying active. The Couch to 5K program was my first step, and I pushed myself further by committing to a 10K charity run. This decision became even more meaningful as my son and I planned to volunteer for five weeks in Uganda, raising over £1000 for a children’s orphanage. https://youtu.be/CHTgk92Z1io

Building the Foundation of Self-Love

Acknowledging my low point was just the beginning. The next step was laying the foundation of self-love—something I had neglected for years. This wasn’t an overnight transformation; it took deep self-reflection and intentional effort.

Breaking the Cycle of Negative Self-Talk

For years, I engaged in self-criticism. Unfortunately my mum, her mum and many generations before them passed down generational trauma to the women in my family, so i thought hating my body was the norm! To counteract this, I started writing down three positive things about myself every day. Whether it was acknowledging my resilience or simply celebrating the fact that I got out of bed, this practice rewired my mindset. Over time, I shifted from seeing myself as a victim to recognising that I was worthy of love and happiness.

Seeking Support

Healing isn’t a solo journey. I reached out to friends, family, coaches, and therapists, ensuring I had a support system to guide me through the toughest moments. Having a community made all the difference—it reminded me that I didn’t have to carry my burdens alone.

Discovering My True Self

One of the most profound changes came from exploring my passions and rediscovering parts of myself I had lost. I tried new hobbies like painting and writing, attended workshops, and practiced mindfulness through meditation and journaling.

During a painting class, I unearthed a long-buried love for creating art. This shift in perspective allowed me to embrace creativity and the unknown with excitement rather than fear.

Embracing the Unknown Future

As I grew in self-love, I also learned to embrace life’s uncertainties. The fear of the unknown that once paralyzed me was replaced with excitement. I realised I didn’t need to have every detail mapped out—what mattered was trusting myself to handle whatever came my way.

Celebrating Achievements

Today, I celebrate every step of progress, no matter how small. Choosing self-kindness over self-criticism, prioritizing my health, and embracing change have led me to become the happiest, healthiest version of myself.

I no longer let my past define me. Instead, I carry my experiences as lessons that have shaped me into the person I am today. My journey to self-love is ongoing, but now, it feels like an adventure rather than a burden.

Reflecting on the Journey

My transformation from rock bottom to thriving has been far from easy, but it has been worth every challenge. Through self-love, healthy habits, community, self-discovery, and embracing life’s unpredictability, I’ve learned to flourish.

By sharing my story, I hope to inspire others who may feel lost. It’s never too late to start again and reclaim your joy.

The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself—nurture it, cherish it, and watch yourself grow.